Deferred

I attended an all girls’ high school. ‘Cool’ you might say. ‘Yes, cool, definitely, but not on some levels of detail’ I would reply.

See, recently I just realized I have failed to grasp some life fundamentals – the unspoken social specifics. Oh, how much have I lost already, how much unnecessary pain has it caused.

Men. Or should I say boys. Not all of them obviously, but just enough to make me somber into incomprehension.

Don’t get me wrong here. Here, I’ll drop the bomb right away so things are clear. I have a boyfriend. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I’m taken, for God’s sake (and I’m more than happy to be). Is it still possible to talk to me the same way you did before? Is it still possible to even nourish, not to mention maintain the same fruitful friendship we built? Experience hit me in the face and told me naaaaah.

What I’m trying to say here is that apparently I was naive, that I didn’t envision that there could be a conflict of interest. You could call me a late bloomer on that matter. So there I was, happily chit-chatting around with all people on campus, no gender discrimination, without even considering whether I should talk about my relationship status. I mean, why should I bring it up out of context? As a low-key person towards these matters, blurting it out to everyone would boil down to its purest form of irrelevancy. Here and there, I would insinuate distance, but I could also playfully do the opposite, as I pleased. No harmful, twisted afterthoughts involved.

Yet my biggest weakness was to – as I now learned – delicately handpick the ripest moment to reveal this apparently game-changing information. Too early, they think you’re bragging or just plain obsessive. That hasn’t happened to me, hah. Too late, and perhaps they’ve already fallen for your simple acts of considerate friendship.

Friendliness is flirting?? More like friendliness, period. And maybe, something non-sexual as well. Something called enjoyment, with a dose of compassion and respect.

Also. It can be very very hard for us girls to take a clue sometimes. Let’s eliminate the obvious males who wave it in your face. Your move could be a sign, but the grey zone is so vast that we would much rather keep it simple and put aside any double meaning.

Then I heard somewhere: If they talk to you, they’re into you. Well gosh I hope that’s not immuable. Hearing this is like hearing all the Neverland folk tales of how only one single organ could rule the body when it comes to women. Nevertheless, the single fact that I could be regarded differently, as an alienesque creature, after dropping the relationship bomb too late shattered my perception of men, and is now on a slow path of rebuilt.

Not at all to be a love therapist, but in expression of sincere frustration towards my own experiencing of this situation do I write this post.

 

NOW. Happy summer everyone, especially those who aren’t posting perfectly edited trip pictures. I have yet to become one myself.

Meanwhile, here is a fearless shoot done by the one and only Anthony for InfluenceU located d-town Ste-Catherine. Here, you can see me trying to influence you to get your pretty self some fresh Y-3 and Wildfox.

Katia-Katia--2Katia-8955Katia-8968Katia-9012Katia-9053Katia-9070Katia-9117Katia-9160 (1)

Enjoy!

Katia xx

Advertisements

One thought on “Deferred

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s